Happy Birthday Kurt Warner

A Great Man

I knew something about today felt just a little more sacred.  Whatever you want to call him – the gloved one, Jesus Warner, or dreamboat (as I call him) – it’s Kurt’s 38th birthday today.  As a Cards fan it’s possible you’d think I’m nervous that Warner is at such an advanced age but take this on for size – the guy has been riding with Christ as his co-pilot for most of his adult life.  So 38 in Jesus years is what?  29 in Leinart years?  Either way – happy birthday Kurt – may you lead us to more wins (and another division title…maybe NFC title? how about Super Bowl?) in 2009. 

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The UFL: A Blogger’s Dream

From Highest Paid Safety In Football to the UFL - Go Devils!

As you well know, SoD was and always will be a site built on the dual tenets of epic and failure.  Besides the NHL (which may or may not still be a league) – no professional sporting institution quite matches up to those tenets like the United Football League.  Zim has already thoroughly covered the coaching staff of the San Francisco franchise – while the coaches of the other 3 franchises are NFL retreads such as Jim Fassel, Jim Haslett, and Ted Cottrell.  As if the hilarity of these coaches were not enough, the league recently held a draft of prospective players for the league that begins play in October.  As is to be expected, the draftees read like a who’s who of NFL wash-outs and nobody’s.

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Don’t Cry For Me Pennsylvania

First the Phillies.  Then the Steelers.  Now the Penguins.  The Keystone State holds three of the major four sports titles.  You probably already now this by now.  But, what about some of William Penn’s other championship sons and daughters?  Shouldn’t we extend congrats to these proud champions too?

• Splash Lagoon – Largest Indoor Waterpark on the East Coast;
• The Boone and Crockett Club – Maintains five of the ten largest black bear skulls on record;
• Philadelphia Soul – Reigning 2008 AFL champs (Can they repeat this season…er…nevermind);
• Pretzels and Chips – Highest manufacturing of these products of any state;
• D.G. Yuengling & Son – America’s oldest brewery.

So spread the love people.  You never know when another black bear skull will turn up or some carpetbagger will build a bigger indoor waterpark or a minor league indoor football league will fold shut down to “retool.”

Smile all you want, as long as you ain't bringin' no prized bear skulls.

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Health Concerns for Kurt Warner

ESPN.com NFC West blogger Mike Sando wrote a nice little piece on Cardinals QB – and greatest person ever – Kurt Warner that explored Warner’s health and general ability to stay healthy. Sando’s primary takeaway was that Warner is not nearly as brittle as some may suggest. In fact, Warner hasn’t missed a start (he missed most of the ’07 Panthers game after being injured on like the 3rd play) due to injury in the last three seasons. Of course, I feel pretty good about all of that because (as anyone that knows me is aware) I’m just about the biggest Kurt Warner homer this side of Jesus Christ. I even predicted his 30 TD season before 2008 began (never mind that I predicted the same thing in 2004, 2005 and 2006). So why the concern from Scott Howard? It appears Warner has old man arms.

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Bill Williamson: Shawne Merriman is More Essential Than Tom Brady

I'd Say This Picture Could Change Bill Williamson's Mind

Bill Williamson – ESPN’s 10th ranked writer based on looks (as prepared by reputable political website SoD) – recently offered his argument in ESPN.com’s “Double Coverage” that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman is more essential to his team than Patriots QB (Steamy White Looks?) Tom Brady is to his. No seriously.

Now I realize that it’s June 10th and the NFL writers need something to do – but did they really need to force Merriman v. Brady down our throats? Both players missed most of the 2008 season and that’s about where the comparison should end. Sure the Chargers went from 11-5 in 2007 to 8-8 in 2008 without Merriman and sure Merriman is a 3-time Pro Bowler and 2006 All-Pro – but more valuable than Brady? In case you’ve forgotten let me throw a few stats at you:

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Brady Learns that People on the River Are Happy to Give

This scene is equal parts serene and hazardous to quarterbacks

It appears that, like that immortalized riverboat worker in Fogerty’s Proud Mary, Tom Brady has left a good job in the city in favor of rolling (his kayak) on the river.  Easy CCR jokes aside, SoD wonders why Brady did not check the List of Potentially Career-Ending Activities before taking his wife on this little boat ride.  He would have clearly seen that, not only is “kayaking” prominently featured, but so are the broader categories of “anything on water” and “anything wherein yr legs are immobilized inside a container.”

Luckily for the NFL and the State of Massachusetts, no one was hurt in this hilarious incident.

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Dan Morgan Retires, Again

Apparently, Brett Farve has been having so much fun out there in his wrangler jeans gunslinging retirement notices that Dan Morgan wanted a piece of the action. The New Orleans linebacker has retired for a second time in the last year. Morgan’s NFL career has been mostly marked by injury and recent indecision. His agent, Drew Rosenhaus, announced via Twitter that Morgan would be retiring due to injuries. Given his past, that reason passes the smell test. But that does not mean that Morgan and Rosenhaus aren’t giant douchebags.

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Arnie Spanier is a Genius

A True Renaissance Man

I assume you’re surprised.  As you may remember I once wrote about my dislike of Spanier due to his pension for yelling in the morning hours – well in the light of a few recent suggestions I’ve changed my tune.  In the last few days Spanier has presented some ideas on his local radio program that can be defined with just one word – brilliance.

First his suggestion for the Phoenix Suns – trade Amare Stoudemire, along with the 14th pick in the draft to the Clippers for the 1st pick, which would turn into Blake Griffin.   How about that?  Stoudemire  is only a 6 foot 10, 4-time All-Star and 2007 All-NBA First Team selection but he plays shitty defense – so trade his ass.   We have no room for 26 year-old offensively gifted power forwards in Phoenix.  Bring on Griffin – a man who according to nbadraft.net is “still not a great shooter”, “needs to improve from the free throw line”, and “still needs work on the defensive end”.  Please give me a 20 year-old project to replace Stoudemire. 

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Weekend Quick Hitters

Those NFL Live United commercials have gotten to the point where I want to punch a hole through my TV each time they are on.  I get it – Drew Brees, Santana Moss, Eli Manning, Adrian Peterson, Bob Sanders (did I miss any?) all do community service – but the same damn commercials have been playing for what seems like 2 years, lets cook up some new ones.

• Former Suns Guard Yuta Tabuse Seeking Return to NBA – Steve Nash wasn’t the only point guard to debut with the Suns in ’04-05- you may remember this guy:

Consider the NBA on Notice - It's Tabuse Time

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Tim Hasselback is as Good at his Analyst Job as He Was At Football

A Poor Man's Jared Lorenzen

I promised myself I wouldn’t use this blog to blatantly attack people when they don’t agree with my obvious biases – wait! It’s the exact opposite! So guess what? Tim Hasselback – you’re a sucky loser.

If you missed it – and you probably did – Mr. Elizabeth Hasselback is apparently now an analyst for NFL Live on ESPN. This followed his stellar NFL career which spanned 4 different seasons (between 2002-2007) and 15 whole games. He actually even got to start a few for the Redskins in 2003. In addition he had a very brief stint as a Cardinals QB in 2007 – signing after Matt Leinart, Kurt Warner, Neil Lomax, Timm Rosenbach, and Tom Tupa (list may not be accurate) all went down.

Ordinarily I would just let his general existence as an NFL analyst roll off my back. He’s no Jesse Palmer in the looks department, in fact he’s so bland that you barely care he’s alive – but he’s drawn my ire with some recent comments. While discussing the recently released ESPN NFL Power Rankings on NFL Live, Hasselback cited the Cardinals as the team most likely to decline in 2009. His reasons?

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