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Posts Tagged ‘College Football’

Oh, this old thing? It is no big deal, just my old solid gold football.

Oh, this old thing? It is no big deal, just my old solid gold football.

According to the information generated from the Equity in Athletics Disclosure Act forms, in 2008  Texas generated the most revenue of any athletic program ($120.3 million), the most revenue of any football program ($72.9 million) and the most profitable football program ($52 million).  While Texas narrowly edged Ohio State in overall revenue and football revenue it dominated the Big XII like my clubbing arm dominates baby seals.  Notably no Pac 10 program, even media darling USC, cracked the top ten in athletic revenue or football revenue. 

Let me put Mack Brown’s financial juggernaut into perspective, Texas generated more in profit from football than any other team in the Big XII generated as revenue from football.  Nebraska the second highest grossing team in the Big XII generated $49 million in football revenue, and the land thieves in Oklahoma only generated $40.9 million in revenue from football.  So if you are keeping score at home that means Texas could buy and sell the rest of the Big XII and the Pac 10 the way Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas used to buy and sell orphans.*  College football is a story of the haves and Kansas States and Pac-10s of the world, and Texas certainly is head of the class in the haves column.  As a Longhorn, let me humbly say: WOOOOO HOOOOO!! 

*This may or may not be baseless rank speculation.  Not about Dave Thomas though, he was pure unadulterated evil.

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Vacating wins? Something tells me this fan base isnt bothered by that.

Vacating wins? Something tells me this fan base isn't bothered by that.

Sixteen Alabama athletic teams will be forced by the NCAA to vacate wins, for improperly engaging in such dastardly deeds as helping scholarship athletes obtain free textbooks and other illicit goods.  The football team will vacate 21 wins between 2005 and 2007 and pay a $43,900.00 fine.  Not exactly the death penalty, is it?  I am sure it will take Alabama’s athletic director at least 10 minutes to search his couch cushions and raid the ash tray in his car to find enough change to pay the fine.  This sanction is so impotent that to call it a punishment is a disgrace to sadists everywhere.  But I think we can all agree, the most shocking thing is this story is Alabama football players even having textbooks.

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Bob Leys Lego Hair is also a little-known NCAA infraction.  One of many violated by Bobby Knight during his coaching tenure.

Bob Ley's Lego hair is also a little-known NCAA infraction. One of many violated by Bobby Knight during his coaching tenure.

The first rule of journalism is “Don’t get involved with a newspaper.”  The second rule is “Don’t become part of the story.”  ESPN violates this rule more than any media outlet except for MTV (to the extent you can call it a news gathering station).  In yet another egregious violation, “Outside The Lines” has reportedly contributed to Tennessee’s growing resume of NCAA violations by filming a meeting between Lane Kiffin and a couple recruits.  This apparently violates NCAA recruiting rule 13.10 subsection “nobody reads these subsections anyway.”  For my money, Kiffin is working his first recruiting season like an evil genius.  Every minor infraction (such as this OTL snafu) garners him (and Tennessee) a week’s worth of national media attention.  I mean the only equivalent to this would be if a top NCAA basketball coach had a series of commericals running year round touting his greatness as a coach.  That would never happen, right?

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Early this week at an alumni event, octogenarian Joe Paterno said he would not welcome Notre Dame to the Big Ten. He said he would like to see Rutgers, Pittsburgh or Syracuse join the Big Ten so that the conference can expand from 11 teams to 12 and have an important conference championship game. Notre Dame has repeatedly refused offers to join the Big Ten, preferring to remain a football independent with its own oversize CBS contract. Ever since working for the Spanish Inquisition as a young man, Joe Paterno has opposed the Pope’s influence and he isn’t about to stop now.

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Vince Young Foods has released three new products: smoked sausage, smoked brisket and smoked ribs. Mull that over for a second. I’ll be here, crying softly, remembering VY’s legacy as the greatest college QB of all time. Back? Good. (No, I wasn’t listening to Enya and playing with a straight razor in the tub, why do you ask?) Anyways, if the meats hold true to their maker, they will be absolutely awesome . . . until you pay for them. After purchase, Vince Young meats will likely have a promising start before a rapid decrease in quality, causing you to have concerns for the meats’ safety. They may be eventually be replaced by older and more cost effective veteran meats. I can only hope his meats come with a hearty dry rub containing plenty of Vince Young Antidepressants™.

I just have these meat reciepes in my head . . . and I gotta let the world taste my meat.

If I can get some meat, I got recipes in my head . . . I could get everyone to want my meat in their mouth, baby!

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Awesome Mustache- Check.  Defrauding a University - Check.  Ability to Look Directly At Camera - Um...

Awesome Mustache- Check. Defrauding a University - Check. Ability to Look Directly At Camera - Um...

As you may know from reading SoD, I’m a proud alum of Kansas State University. I’m pretty much a homer when it comes to my beloved Wildcats and can usually justify just about any move they make, no matter how bad it might look. Case in point: K-State hires Frank Martin as men’s basketball head coach. Although Martin had never been a head coach above the high school level, I approve of this move anyway and tack it up to the ‘Cats just staying on the cutting edge of coaching hires. But today? Today I just hang my head in shame.

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Nobody Goes Against the Gator Family

Nobody Goes Against the Gator Family

If you’re a Florida Gator fan you probably accepted this headline and moved on. If you’re not then you probably wonder whether or not this is heresy.

According to a recent report, Urban Meyer had the following to say about those who want to lob criticism at the Gator program:

“If you want to be critical of a player on our team or a coach on our team you can buy a ticket for seat 37F, you’re not welcome back in the football office,” Meyer said, according to the report. “You’re either a Gator or you’re not a Gator.”

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