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Posts Tagged ‘Feathered Mullets’

As you all know, there have been an inordinate number of notable (and bizarre) deaths in the last few weeks.  In keeping with the recently popular death tributes here at SoD, I wanted to celebrate a death that some of us remember quite fondly.  The death of disco.  It was thirty years ago last Sunday that disco died at a Chicago White Sox game in center field of Comiskey Park.  The ensuing riot caused the  White Sox to forfeit the second half of the day’s doubleheader.  It remains the last American League game to be forfeited.

Pay particular attention to the local Chicago news guy and his interview of disco murderer, DJ Steve Dahl.  (Between 3:14 and 4:00 on the clip below)

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In honor of the rising temperatures here in Arizona, I give you “Things That Disturb Me About Heat (the film)”:

Needless to say, Ms. Judds presence in Heat was not disturbing.

Needless to say, Ms. Judd's presence in Heat was not disturbing.

  • The most famously discussed problem with the film: the unrealistically excessive time it takes for De Niro and Kilmer to walk from the bank to the getaway car during the climatic heist scene;
  • Amy Brenneman;
  • That huge welt on Val Kilmer’s arm which is never explained;
  • Jon Voight’s mullet;
  • Al Pacino’s spittle which flies everywhere during the “She’s gotta great ass” scene;
  •  Robert De Niro reading cue cards in half the scenes in the movie.

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Last night the D’backs celebrated Randy Johnson’s 300th victory by committing three errors and giving up five runs in the first three innings of the game.  Just like old times, eh Randy?  You sure you don’t want to come back?  Anyways, the official and much-ballyhooed video tribute to Randy played shorty thereafter with the Giants’ victory all but assured. 

The Many Faces Of Randy Johnson: Annoyed, Indifferent, and, Exasperated.

The Many Faces Of Randy Johnson: Annoyed, Indifferent, and, Exasperated.

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Editors Note:  This is part two of “Canceled!” a two-part article breaking down this year’s TV show cancellations.  Click here for part one.

FOX (The gold standard for lowering the bar.)

Hole In The Wall – Ending after eighteen episodes, final episode on 3/15/2009. Okay, it’s a giant wall with a hole in it that contestants have to jump through as the wall moves toward them.  Fox stole the idea of course.  Only the Japanese could come up with something so simple and yet so entertaining.  Problem is the novelty wears off after the first couple episodes.  So it should come as no surprise that this puppy was canceled after just eighteen episodes.  My guess is Fox execs would admit even they didn’t see this as anything more than a one-trick pony to drive ratings for one season.  Viewed in this light, maybe this show was successful after all.  One downside: it did spawn that annoying anti-smoking ad where the kid steps through the moving holes in the wall until he sees the one for a smoking pose.  Ouch, that stings, doesn’t it smokers?

I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke.  I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke.  I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke.

I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke. I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke. I will not make a Def Leppard's drummer joke.

MADtv – Ending after fourteen seasons, final episode on 5/16/2009.  When Saturday Night Live was wallowing in the mediocrity of Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz in the late 90’s and early 00’s, MADtv remained consistently irreverent, funny and far more willing to ruffle feathers.  In my opinion, SNL — though experiencing a revival — has never really regained that irreverence that it lost upon becoming THE sketch comedy show.  It’s an institution that stays within a certain set of boundaries.  At times, it is still good but it will never be great again.  Also, SNL, please stop forcing Andy Samberg upon us.  His name may sound like Adam Sandler’s but Sandler he ain’t.  As for MADtv, it had fallen off in recent years due to the departure of many of its key players throughout the 00’s but I will miss it.

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I am sure you have heard it by now.  Creed is back together for a 2009 summer tour.  Rumors also suggest the possibility of a new derivative album in the works.  I know what you’re thinking, the music scene was really missing shitty late 90’s-ish alt/post-grunge bands.

Oh my god!  I love Nickel Doors of Staind Mudd!

Oh my god! I love Nickel Doors of Staind Mudd!

Until Creed announced this reunion, fans were stuck with Nickelback, Three Doors Down, Puddle of Mudd, Seether, Staind, Alter Bridge (we will get to them in a second), Daughtry, Hinder, Godsmack, the band formerly known as Alice in Chains, the band formerly known as Smashing Pumpkins, the bizarre career choices of Chris Cornell….well you get the point.

The horrors, unfortunately, don’t stop with the Creed reunion.  Check out this butterfly effect.  A while back Bob Plant made the respectable and classy decision to refrain from reuniting with the Zep for an epic cash grab a new tour.  No problems there, right?  Wrong.  This set off a chain reaction whereby JPJ and Jimmy Page decided they would do a Zep tour anyway — to hell with Plant.  This alone is horrible.  No one wants to see Karaoke Zeppelin.

To compound the horrors, JPJ and Page are interested in Alter Bridge singer Myles Kennedy for the role of Karaoke Plant.  Of course, this a-hole isn’t turning down Zeppelin.  (So long, Alter Bridge.  This is the only silver lining in this story).  The remaining members of Alter Bridge are left with no choice but to reunite with Eddie Vedder-wannabe, Jim Morrison-wannabe, Jesus Christ-wannabe, Scott Stapp for a NEW CREED TOUR!!!!

To recap:  we could have gotten a Zeppelin tour (albeit a washed-up Zep) but instead we got Karaoke Zeppelin and Creed.  Honestly, I wish I could choose none of the above.

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Some of you may know J.D. Roth, some of you may not.  Those that do may know him from his new show “Opportunity Knocks” on ABC.  If so, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Others may know him from the single-greatest children’s game show of all-time — a little show called Fun House.  What you may not know, however, is that J.D. has stopped aging.

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