Formal indictments came down today for failed extortionist Karen Cunagin Sypher (they always use three names in the media when you are bat-shit crazy). She is charged with attempting to extort Louisville coach Rick Pitino and lying to the EFF-BEE-EYE. With this good news, Pitino should call a press conference to address, what hopes to be, the final resolution of this sordid matter. Here is my suggestion for his statement:
Sadly, he is not walking through that door.
Look extortion just isn’t what it used to be, okay? I mean come on people. Henry Hill is not walking through that door, fans. Luca Brasi is not walking through that door, and Flat Top is not walking through that door.
And if you expect them to walk through that door, they’re going to be gray and old. … And as soon as you realize that those three guys are not coming through the door, the better this town will be for all of us. …
Louie Renown
Dr. Greenbaumberg
Martha Lee
E. Honda
Scott Howard
Career Sergeant Zim
Kirk Gibson
Seasons of Discontent 