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Posts Tagged ‘Crime fighters’

Formal indictments came down today for failed extortionist Karen Cunagin Sypher (they always use three names in the media when you are bat-shit crazy).  She is charged with attempting to extort Louisville coach Rick Pitino and lying to the EFF-BEE-EYE.  With this good news, Pitino should call a press conference to address, what hopes to be, the final resolution of this sordid matter.  Here is my suggestion for his statement:

Sadly, he is not walking through that door.

Sadly, he is not walking through that door.

Look extortion just isn’t what it used to be, okay?  I mean come on people.  Henry Hill is not walking through that door, fans.  Luca Brasi is not walking through that door, and Flat Top is not walking through that door.  

And if you expect them to walk through that door, they’re going to be gray and old. … And as soon as you realize that those three guys are not coming through the door, the better this town will be for all of us. …

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Lawrence Phillips facing criminal charges? Shocking, simply shocking! No, not that the former Cornhusker is facing assault charges but that he is using a public defender. I guess that NFL Tom Osborne bribe money doesn’t last forever. However, lets remember the good times, you know pre-draft bust. Not for running into three kids with his car after a pickup football game or his unique brand of romance rampant douchebaggery.

Just a misunderstood gentleman, trying to make his way in the modern world.

Just a misunderstood gentleman, trying to make his way in the modern world.

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Prep sensation Danny Almonte Patrick Schuster has now thrown four consecutive no-hitters. 

http://sports.espn.go.com/highschool/rise/baseball/news/story?id=4085015

According to my math, that is back-to-back-to-back-to-back hitless outings.  Someone has been watching their Fred McGriff videos….

Hey kids.  Take a bite out of crime!

Hey kids. Take a bite out of crime!

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