A former security guard assigned to provide security services to Tony Parker’s home has been arrested after stealing from Mr. Longoria. The security guard, who was already wanted for a previous burglary, helped himself to a signed Michael Jordan jersey and attempted to sell the jersey, worth over $20,000.00, for $500.00 on Craigslist. Unfortunately, this budding investment banker was unable to offload his collateralized autographed jersey-backed security (far below market value and priced to move!) before he was caught by Bexar County Sheriff’s Deputies.
Wait, you had a guy wanted for burglary act as a security guard? Smooth move ex-lax (that insult is totally rad). Apparently winning championships is easier than making sure you aren’t hiring criminals. Tony may want to spend some of his Subway money (or ask his wife to up his allowance) on some background checks for those assigned to make sure his collection of beret’s and his Marcel Marceau autographed baguette aren’t stolen by criminals, ruffians or even worse — Suns fans. Scott Howard has no alibi for the period in question.