Only Figure Skater I’ve Ever Been Attracted To is Now Meth Dealer

I Loved You

If you’re like me you most certainly remember the 1998 U.S. Figure Skating Championships – this was the year American institution Michelle Kwan won gold, future Olympic gold medalist Tara Lipinksi won silver, and Nicole Bobek finished with the bronze.  However it was a 21 year-old Bobek that skated away with a young Scott Howard’s heart – and by heart I mean…I thought she was like really hot.  Like Dominique Moceanu before her (my object of affection at the ’96 Summer Olympics), I imagined a scenario in which she’d be taken with my teenage charm and lack of skating ability –

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The Crappiest Game In A Season Of Crap

In case you still haven’t figured out what this blog is here to celebrate, I give you the top of the 8th inning in last night’s D’backs v. Marlins game (which the D’backs led 7-0 at the top of the 6th):

Juan Gutierrez pitching for Arizona.  Score: AZ 7 – FL 4.

J Hermida singled to center

J Baker walked, J Hermida to second

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Pre-Vegas Quick Hitters

Out in Vegas for the weekend so you won’t have my brilliant additions here at SoD.  I fully plan on attending a couple of NBA Summer League games because who really wants to miss Adam Morrison facing off against Chase Budinger in practice jerseys?  Certainly not this guy.

Matrix is coming to Dallas – I’m a little crushed by this.  While I didn’t exactly expect for Shawn Marion to come back to the Valley, I wasn’t necessarily ready to see him running and gunning with a Western Conference rival who actually cares about winning.  Through a few savvy off-season moves (re-signing J-Kidd, and acquiring both Marcin Gortat and Marion) the Mavs have actually positioned themselves to contend in the West.  Marion appearing on the Gambo & Ash show today and talking about how he felt “bad for the Suns fans” didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.

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D-Backs Move From Horrid to Slightly Less Horrid

The season still isn't watchable. Even though it features a guy with two differently colored eyes.

If you haven’t notice lately – and you likely haven’t if the attendance figures are any indication – the Diamondbacks have put together their longest winning streak of the season (5 straight) and moved out of last place in the NL West.  Take THAT Padres!

The D-Backs are actually now undefeated since Mark Reynolds unleashed last Friday’s rant about how it seems that his teammates have packed it in for the season.  Perhaps this will represent a step in the right direction for the D-Backs and they’ll grow and change from it – but don’t get any illusions of a playoff run.  In what is a clear indicator of how brutal the season has been to this point – the D-Backs are still a staggering 17.5 games back of the first place Dodgers, and 10.5 games back of the wild-card leading Giants.  I’d say this is as good a chance as any to point out that Cardinals training camp opens in 25 days.

We realize it’s been a slow time for SoD but what else are we supposed to write about?  I can only drill down into the Suns complete lack of a gameplan so much and you really don’t want us to start unleashing Steve McNair jokes yet.  Hang in there lovers.

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Tony! Toni! Toné!

The D’backs have traded reliever Tony Pena to the White Sox for Carlos Quentin a AA/AAA first baseman named Brandon Allen.

Josh, I am available if you would like to shore up the first base position with another aging vet.

This is presumably to fill the D’backs glaring need at the first base position.  Right now they only have Tony Clark, Mark Reynolds, Josh Whitesell (up and down between AAA and majors), Chad Tracy, and bubonic plague victim Conor Jackson.  What’s wrong Greg Colbrunn wasn’t available?

At least with Pena gone the D’backs’ 8th inning ERA will probably go from approximately 17.10 to 10.10.  So they got that going for them.  A little addition by subtraction.  That is what it has come to in this town.

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A Matrix Sequel That Wouldn’t Suck

Kiss and Makeup Boys

From the “you’ve got to consider the source” files – KTAR’s John Gambadoro reported that the Suns may have an interest in bringing Shawn Marion back to the Valley for a return engagement.  For this proposed scenario to occur Grant Hill would have to take off for Boston or New York and the Suns would have to clear a few more bucks in order to offer Marion near the mid-level exception (about $5 million).

Bringing Marion to the place where he started his career would almost make too much sense for the Suns.  They’ve already admitted that Shaq was a failed experiment (see: Cavs salary dump) and that doing anything

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Just One of the Guys…

Taurasi Celebrating the Lone Title in Phoenix Basketball History

On Thursday night, 3-time WNBA All-Star Diana Taurasi was charged with a DUI in Phoenix around the 7th and Camelback area.  After last years Detroit Shock / Los Angeles Sparks brawl, this represents yet another step for the WNBA to being more like its big brother league.  In addition – Taurasi has now proved that Jason Richardson isn’t the only Phoenix shooting guard who can hop behind the wheel of a car drunk.  I anxiously await Taurasi driving 90 in a 35 with a toddler in the front seat.  Your move Diana.

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Cry Me A River, Landon

In a new book detailing David Beckham’s time in the MLS, U.S. forward Landon Donovan took an opportunity to do what he does best — whine about things.  Donovan chastisted Beckham for his lack of commitment to the Galaxy, among other things. 

Make no mistake, Beckham is now a largely overrated player.   But, Landon Donovan is by far the most overrated player in U.S. team history (sorry, second-most after Freddy Adu).  He is not even in the same stratosphere as Beckham in terms of ability or accomplishment.  (Beckham has twice been runner up to FIFA player of the year and won the Treble in 1999.  Donovan has MVP’s at the MLS All-Star game and the MLS Cup and has never scored a goal in club soccer outside of the MLS.)  If Landon cared as much about improving his game as he did about crying about it, he may have actually lived up to his potential. 

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Entertaining Myself in Tokyo

I’m sitting here in the airport getting ready to jump on a 13 hour flight to Dallas, I’m sleep deprived, confused and just want to leave – but thanks to a picture on The Big Lead I was reminded of one of my favorite incidents of 2009.  I am of course referring to this:

Take that Bucks mascot – Bongo.  Not only did you get hit in your deer junk but you also fell through the hoop and tore your ACL.  If that’s not funny I don’t know what is.

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Pony Tail Enthusiasts Rejoice

It's so Horribly Greasy

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the Suns picked up the team option on forward Lou Amundson ensuring that he’ll be with the team next season.  For those of you unfamiliar with Lou – he’s basically a weird looking bundle of energy who rebounds, dunks, and rides his bike to the arena for games (a bicycle, not motorcycle..awesome). 

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