The King Is Dead. Long Live The King.

Hark! A throne sits vacant, and not just in the kingdom of Pop.  As you citizens know, there is an important vacancy in our glorious kingdom of Pitchland following the death of the legendary bearded one, Billy Mays.

In keeping with Pitchland’s bylaws, the new King will be selected by out of a group of promising plebs.  The selection ceremony will be conducted in the strictest of confidences by the glorious Pitchland council, including the likes of Bob Villa and Tova.  As it was written in the long, long ago, the new King will be announced for the first time at the coronation ceremony when Merlin Jack LaLanne touches his sceptre upon the shoulders of the chosen one. 

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All The Filler Fit To Print

Entertainment columinsts can’t just publish continuous stories about Michael Jackson.  (Right? Please tell me it will stop.)  Sometimes they need to throw in a little filler.  Check out three of the latest entertainment stories that azcentral.com has picked up.  Beware, this is shocking stuff.

Danny boy wishes he was taller than 5'5. I wish I was wizard. Looks like we are both shit out of luck.

• Daniel Radcliffe Wishes He Was A Little Bit Taller.  No word on whether he also has designs on being a “baller” or having a girl who looked good so he could call her;
• Lindsay Lohan Claims She Is A Workaholic.  Well, I guess she is half right.  Is trying really hard all the time to get wasted considered “work?”
• Johnny Depp Speaks French.  Yeah.  He lives in France.  And?

If this is all you got, keep the Jacko stories coming guys.

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Betty White Breathes A Sigh Of Relief

First, Ed.  Then Farrah.  Now Jacko.  These things always come in threes.

Believe it or not, for a certain period of time, this man used to be the coolest guy on the planet.

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