Josh Freeman Fraudulently Pretending To Be NFL Ready

This weekend some NFL team will draft Josh Freeman, meaning he will become an actual professional quarterback. He is in no way qualified for this job. You may not remember Josh tearing up the Big XII last year, but are probably thinking…hey, the conference had lots of quarterback talent so no big deal; he was at least one of the top 7 right? No, he ranked no better than 8th in the Big XII in any major statistical category. If you believe that a QB rating has some correlation to how good a QB is and you believe Freeman should be a first day selection, shoot yourself. Freeman had a lower QB rating last year then such iconic players as Joe Ganz and Jerrod Johnson.   I’ll wait while you look them up . . .

Freeman doing what he does best: not playing football well.

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I Can Has Millions?

On Saturday, Matt Stafford will likely be the number one over all pick in the NFL draft. After months of NFL Scouts drooling over him like a bunch of 13 year old girls pawing at the pages of Tiger Beat, talking about his rocket laser arm, his height, his wingspan, his foot work, his chiseled good looks (he is no Sanchez but he is good looking enough) and his 38 on the Wonderlic, he will finally get to cash in like a lottery winner. Unfortunately, the NFL does not give draft picks giant checks, a la Publishers Clearing House, but maybe just maybe we can see Stafford celebrate in the style he is used to:

Bring me the finest Schlitz in all the land!

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Isiah Wants You!

Dear Future Florida International Basketball Player,

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me and my staff.  First of all, let me tell you that you are a remarkable young man (and not in that overrated Tim Tebow way).  I know you are getting ready to make the biggest decision of your life and I know it feels like the whole world is weighing down on you.  Trust me, I know all about pressure but champions thrive under pressure they don’t fold.  I knew when I met you that you were a champion.

My track record speaks for itself.

As a Florida International Golden Panther my staff and I will not only nurture you as player but as a man.  As you are well aware, besides being a legendary mentor to young talents I also take pride in showing you how to be a man.  In today’s world you need more than just a jump shot to succeed; you need interpersonal skills, self control, and leadership.  But don’t get me wrong it won’t be all work, there will be plenty of fun too. 

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Dear Byrnesey, get out

Dear Eric Byrnes,

We have been seriously looking back upon our connection and getting very clear on what we need and desire out of a relationship, and we don’t need an overpaid 33 year old loafer in the outfield.  The conclusion we have come to is that we are too different in both our personality and our desired lifestyles to be able to successfully live together with joy, bliss, good communication, and interaction.

Dont go away mad, just go away ... now.

This is not about you or about me “winning or losing”(actually it is), or about one of us being wrong — this is not about your anemic .115 batting average or your pathetic .226 on base percentage all for the bargain price of $11,666,666 for the 2009 season — it is about two ways of being… which do not fulfill each other, or go together. Though we had been open to hoping that you could possibly live up the mediocrity that caused us to give you that ridiculous extension, it is now very clear that we are not ‘right’ for each other at this time in our lives.

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