Pre-Vegas Quick Hitters

Out in Vegas for the weekend so you won’t have my brilliant additions here at SoD.  I fully plan on attending a couple of NBA Summer League games because who really wants to miss Adam Morrison facing off against Chase Budinger in practice jerseys?  Certainly not this guy.

Matrix is coming to Dallas – I’m a little crushed by this.  While I didn’t exactly expect for Shawn Marion to come back to the Valley, I wasn’t necessarily ready to see him running and gunning with a Western Conference rival who actually cares about winning.  Through a few savvy off-season moves (re-signing J-Kidd, and acquiring both Marcin Gortat and Marion) the Mavs have actually positioned themselves to contend in the West.  Marion appearing on the Gambo & Ash show today and talking about how he felt “bad for the Suns fans” didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.

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D-Backs Move From Horrid to Slightly Less Horrid

The season still isn't watchable. Even though it features a guy with two differently colored eyes.

If you haven’t notice lately – and you likely haven’t if the attendance figures are any indication – the Diamondbacks have put together their longest winning streak of the season (5 straight) and moved out of last place in the NL West.  Take THAT Padres!

The D-Backs are actually now undefeated since Mark Reynolds unleashed last Friday’s rant about how it seems that his teammates have packed it in for the season.  Perhaps this will represent a step in the right direction for the D-Backs and they’ll grow and change from it – but don’t get any illusions of a playoff run.  In what is a clear indicator of how brutal the season has been to this point – the D-Backs are still a staggering 17.5 games back of the first place Dodgers, and 10.5 games back of the wild-card leading Giants.  I’d say this is as good a chance as any to point out that Cardinals training camp opens in 25 days.

We realize it’s been a slow time for SoD but what else are we supposed to write about?  I can only drill down into the Suns complete lack of a gameplan so much and you really don’t want us to start unleashing Steve McNair jokes yet.  Hang in there lovers.

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The D-Backs Define the Theme of this Blog

Upton Would Have Fit in Well in Right Field for Louie and I's Softball Team

On October 6, 2007 the NL West division champion Arizona Diamondbacks defeated the Chicago Cubs 5-1 in order to finish off an NLDS sweep.  Although the D-Backs were promptly swept out of the NLCS by the Rockies there was certainly reason for hope for the future.  In that game Arizona ran out the following lineup (this was approximately 21 months ago….TWENTY-ONE):

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SoD’s Obligatory Sammy Sosa Post

I Cannot Stay Mad At Someone Wearing Their Hat Like My Grandpa

As SoD is my mother’s 12th-favorite regional sports blog I feel it is our obligation – no, ethical duty – to report on the recent New York Times allegations that Sammy Sosa tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. So here are my thoughts – wow, this is shocking. Here I was ignorantly thinking that it was normal for a player to go from hitting 137 home runs in one four year stretch (1994-1997) to 243 in the immediately following four year stretch (1998-2001). I’ve officially lost my ability to trust. Thanks a lot Sammy. (See what I did there? Witty comments on a popular sports topic.  Joke city baby).

You’re next Walt Weiss.

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Don’t Cry For Me Pennsylvania

First the Phillies.  Then the Steelers.  Now the Penguins.  The Keystone State holds three of the major four sports titles.  You probably already now this by now.  But, what about some of William Penn’s other championship sons and daughters?  Shouldn’t we extend congrats to these proud champions too?

• Splash Lagoon – Largest Indoor Waterpark on the East Coast;
• The Boone and Crockett Club – Maintains five of the ten largest black bear skulls on record;
• Philadelphia Soul – Reigning 2008 AFL champs (Can they repeat this season…er…nevermind);
• Pretzels and Chips – Highest manufacturing of these products of any state;
• D.G. Yuengling & Son – America’s oldest brewery.

So spread the love people.  You never know when another black bear skull will turn up or some carpetbagger will build a bigger indoor waterpark or a minor league indoor football league will fold shut down to “retool.”

Smile all you want, as long as you ain't bringin' no prized bear skulls.

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Woodward and Bernstein Wish They Broke This Story

The Arizona Republic has done what no other publication, talk show host, or D’backs employee could do:  they have gotten to the root cause of the D’backs’ bullpen struggles.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bullpen phone.

Can we get a Lady GaGa ringtone down there or something? A little "Poker Face" never scared anyone.

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The Rest of the Diamondbacks Clearly Regard Dan Haren As a Hated Outcast

The Man With No Friends Sits Alone on the Stool

This season has been a trying one for the D-Backs – particularly All-Star pitcher Dan Haren. Through 12 starts this season Haren is tied for the NL lead in innings pitched and has the third best ERA in the NL at 2.33, puting him on pace for one of the best seasons in his career. However, following Arizona’s 18-inning 9-6 win over San Diego on Sunday – a game which he started – Haren left without speaking to reporters. The reason? His teammates hate him.

OK so maybe it isn’t THAT obvious – but for the second straight start Haren left the game after 7 innings having surrendered just 1 run and in possession of a multi-run lead (6-1 yesterday and 5-1 on June 2nd against the Dodgers) and for the second straight game he received a no decision. 

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Ichiro Extends Hit Streak . . . Mariners Fans Postpone Suicides

Am I needlessly kicking Mariners fans while they are down? Yes.

Do not despair Seattle fans: Ichiro is here. Ichiro Suzuki has extended his hit streak to 26 games, a career best and Mariners’ record.  The Mariners are only four games below .500.  And, while this may not seem all that impressive in the abstract, when viewed in context this is a smashing success.  In the last year, Seattle fans have lost the Sonics, the Seahawks are coming off a 4-12 season, the Washington Huskies went 0 for everything, and Dr. Greenbaumberg has lost his Detlef Schrempf life sized anatomically correct “action figure.” 

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Walk Softly And Carry A Big Jar Of White-Out

The hits just keep coming for the Nationals — just not on the field.  After several misspelling debacles highlighted by this gaff, the Nationals decided to take a run at a Presidential legend this Memorial Day weekend.  Is this yet another gross error or an intentional publicity stunt to poke fun at their recent spelling problems?  I will let you be the judge of that.  I do know one thing: the world is that much sweeter with the Washington Nationals in it.

Teddy Rossevelt: A Natinal Hero

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Rounding Third

Eddie seen here waving players out of the dugout after the World Series victory.

Third base coaches are like umpires or referees.  If you know their name, chances are they screwed up.  But, if you are an avid follower of a certain team or a season ticket holder (particularly one with tickets along the third base line) you probably know your team’s current third base coach.  Maybe even a few former ones.

There are a couple keys to being a well-liked and memorable third base coach.  First, and most importantly, a third base coach can’t consistently get guys hosed.  Nothing pisses fans off more than seeing a third base coach send a guy who is thrown out by 15 feet.  Prime examples include former Diamondbacks’ (yes kids, they used be called the Diamondbacks) third base coach Eddie “Green Light” Rodriguez and former Firebirds/Giants/Red Sox/Cubs’ third base coach Wendell “Wave’em In” Kim.  These guys never saw a ball hit to the outfield they didn’t fall in love with.

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