Do not despair Seattle fans: Ichiro is here. Ichiro Suzuki has extended his hit streak to 26 games, a career best and Mariners’ record. The Mariners are only four games below .500. And, while this may not seem all that impressive in the abstract, when viewed in context this is a smashing success. In the last year, Seattle fans have lost the Sonics, the Seahawks are coming off a 4-12 season, the Washington Huskies went 0 for everything, and Dr. Greenbaumberg has lost his Detlef Schrempf life sized anatomically correct “action figure.”
Ichiro is still one of the best hitters in baseball and you are only 6.5 games out in the dreadful AL West, so don’t stick your head in the oven yet Seattle fans. Take a deep breath and relax, your Mariners are not embarrassingly bad . . . yet. Just rejoice in Ichiro’s greatness and think of better days. Like when you had an NBA team, the Mariners were perennial pennant contenders, the Huskies were winning, and Microsoft stock was in the 40’s. Hey, while you’re at it, throw on Nevermind and have nonfat latte. You deserve it.