A former security guard assigned to provide security services to Tony Parker’s home has been arrested after stealing from Mr. Longoria. The security guard, who was already wanted for a previous burglary, helped himself to a signed Michael Jordan jersey and attempted to sell the jersey, worth over $20,000.00, for $500.00 on Craigslist. Unfortunately, this budding investment banker was unable to offload his collateralized autographed jersey-backed security (far below market value and priced to move!) before he was caught by Bexar County Sheriff’s Deputies.

"And I can't stress this enough ... no matter how he says he is reformed don't let Bernie Madoff run your portfolio."