With Cleveland’s early departure from the NBA Playoffs, Nike is stuck with a worthless ad campaign staring the Lebron puppet. Sources confirm that Nike has done the only thing it can do in this situation: It has exiled the puppet to the Island of Disgraced Corporate Mascots, current home to the likes of Lil’ Penny, the pets.com sock puppet, the Taco Bell Chihuahua and the “you’re getting a Dell” dude.
Nike will likely try to cover up this nasty little incident, like a spot on the carpet or allegations of rampant child labor abuses. But the real victim in all of this is the puppet, who is now out of job. Thanks to the Cav’s choke job, the puppet will lose its home to foreclosure, and its four felty children will likely go hungry. So when you root for the Magicians next week, I hope you feel guilty for rooting for the destruction of poor Puppet Lebron’s family.