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Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Earlier this week the Delaware Supreme Court approved an ass load of awesome. Delaware’s high court ruled that the state constitution did not conflict with a bill allowing sports betting. The NFL, in an attempt to piss on the wishes of a state with no NFL team, argued against the measure. Delaware is the 4th state to allow sports betting. And, while it is too far removed from SoD’s Arizona base (and parole officers) to supplant Vegas as our preferred place for debauchery, it greatly enhances the image of the state.

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The real reason Chen wanted to end it all?  He just saw this movie.

The real reason Chen wanted to end it all? He just saw this movie.

People who like to jump:  David Lee Roth.  Hayden Christensen. The people in this movie.  Count Chen Fuchao out of this group.  After several hours of threatening to jump to his death from a bridge in China, Mr. Fuchao was “helped along” by a friendly Chinese passerby, Lai Jiansheng, who shook hands with him and then gave him a little push on his way.   Jiansheng’s reasoning for pushing Fuchao — he was holding up traffic.  And you thought L.A. freeways were tough.

I have a couple of observations here.  First, according to Chinese reports (we all know how reliable those are), Mr. Fuchao was distraught over being in debt.  Yeah.  And?  Sounds fishy.  Second, the report states Mr. Fuchao fell 26 feet onto a partially inflated airbag suffering minor injuries.  26ft?  Two stories?  Way to go for the gold with ol’ suicide attempt Chen.  No word if the partially inflated airbag was supplemented by a painting of an airbag on the concrete.

Pay no attention to the blight behind the curtain!

Pay no attention to the blight behind the curtain!

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(Editor’s Note: Derived from an exclamation made by a young lady who felt shunned by a gentleman at a party, this weekly column aims to remind you of some of the things you may have missed.)

I dont always drink beer.  But when I do, I prefer the High Life (and a clueless little kid to bother me).

I don't always drink beer. But when I do, I prefer the High Life (and a clueless little kid to bother me).

Body by Jake? Belgian bodybuilders at a bodybuilding event reportedly fled the scene upon the arrival of a drug tester.  That’s it.  The last bastion of clean, non-supplemented, pure sport has now been dirtied.  It used to be all you needed was a Bowflex, a can of baby oil, and a dream.  Now, the hallowed records which were passed down from generation to generation by fathers to sons are meaningless.  We all grew up knowing numbers like “126” (as if I had to tell you — the world record for one-armed push-ups).  It’s part of the fabric of this country and that fabric has been forever stained.  Bob Costas and I say “Shame on you!”

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James Harrison Extending Friendly Courtesy to a Browns Fan

James Harrison Extending Friendly Courtesy to a Browns Fan

Over the last year we’ve learned a few things about Steelers LB James Harrison:

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Every Friday we designate this weekend’s honorary drinker. You know, like a parade marshall. Except cooler.

This week’s honorary drinker is Samuel Adams.  Brewer.  Patriot.  Go forth, drink ye spirits and chuck ye tea.

Say no to taxation without representation!  Say yes to my new summer ale!

Say no to taxation without representation! Say yes to my new summer ale!

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, — go from us in peace.  We ask not your counsels or arms.  Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you.  May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen!”  – Samuel Adams

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Ahhh Martha Lee, while I may not understand your “politics” or your “mastery of the English Language” there is only one language I need to understand. The language of dunk. And when it comes to that? KJ speaks for himself. The defense after the jump:

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KJ- do you mind if I call you Keej?  Everyone else hates it, but I think it has a nice ring.  So, Keej.

Unnamed political enemies“?  You had those Hood Corps kids washing your car(s).  Your charity Academy now owes $424,000.  That’s not a paltry sum, requiring a vendetta to uncover.  I would think that the federal grant rules prohibiting you from requiring your volunteers to engage in menial, personally-beneficial labor aren’t SO hard to follow.  In fact, one might say they elaborate upon common sense a major political figure in the third largest state in the union should possess.   Sorry, by “one might say”, I meant me.  I say that.  Have some common sense.

Whoops!

Whoops!

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