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Posts Tagged ‘Erin Andrews’

HBO announced that the Cincinnati Bengals would be this year’s sacrificial lamb team for its sort-of annual (when coaches are dumb enough to fall for it) training camp documentary.  I think we can all agree that this match-up is long overdue.  Let’s take a look at the cast roster of misfits for this year’s show:

2009 Cincinnati Bengals Team Photo

2009 Cincinnati Bengals Team Photo

Jordan Palmer -Playing the Frank Stallone/Ozzie Canseco card to perfection.

Chris Henry – Doesn’t he really need his own show?  I think he is bigger than “Hard Knocks.”  No offense HBO.

Cedric Benson – We got our crier!  (And our policemens’ punching bag…)

Quan Cosby – Added solely for the purposes of replaying Erin Andrew’s comedy segment with Quan and Bill on draft day.

Maurice Purify – Hopefully with cameo appearances by Uncle Bobby. That’s right, Bobby’s his uncle.

Tank Johnson – See entry for Chris Henry.  PLEASE let Tank and Henry be roommates at camp. It will solve so many problems. THE SAME MATTER CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE.  When they touch, both will be gone — just ask Ron Silver.  It’s science.

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Forget about Pacquiao v. Mayweather, the most anticipated fight on the horizon just came to fruition courtesy of the Worldwide Leader (caution: protective sunglasses should be worn due to the immense golden light emanating from this interview).

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.  For I bask in the glorious light of Tebow.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For I bask in the glorious light of Tebow.

Versus

Stare directly into Herbies eyes at your own risk.

Stare directly into Herbie's eyes at your own risk.

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The NFL has invited 9 players to Radio City Music Hall in New York City for this years Draft.  They are: Baylor’s Jason Smith, Virginia’s Eugene Monroe, Ole Miss’s Michael Oher, Georgia’s Matthew Safford, Kansas State’s Josh Freeman, Wake Forest’s Aaron Curry, USC’s Brian Cushing, Texas Tech’s Douche Bag Extraordinaire Michael Crabtree, and Texas’s Brian Orakpo.  All of these players are virtually guaranteed to go by the 15th pick or so … except Josh Freeman. 

 

Josh Freeman is just looking for a good team to adopt him.

Josh Freeman is house trained and ready to love ... throwing the ball to the other team.

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