HBO announced that the Cincinnati Bengals would be this year’s sacrificial lamb team for its sort-of annual (when coaches are dumb enough to fall for it) training camp documentary. I think we can all agree that this match-up is long overdue. Let’s take a look at the cast roster of misfits for this year’s show:
2009 Cincinnati Bengals Team Photo
Jordan Palmer -Playing the Frank Stallone/Ozzie Canseco card to perfection.
Chris Henry – Doesn’t he really need his own show? I think he is bigger than “Hard Knocks.” No offense HBO.
Cedric Benson – We got our crier! (And our policemens’ punching bag…)
Quan Cosby – Added solely for the purposes of replaying Erin Andrew’s comedy segment with Quan and Bill on draft day.
Maurice Purify – Hopefully with cameo appearances by Uncle Bobby. That’s right, Bobby’s his uncle.
Tank Johnson – See entry for Chris Henry. PLEASE let Tank and Henry be roommates at camp. It will solve so many problems. THE SAME MATTER CANNOT OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE. When they touch, both will be gone — just ask Ron Silver. It’s science.
Louie Renown
Dr. Greenbaumberg
Martha Lee
E. Honda
Scott Howard
Career Sergeant Zim
Kirk Gibson
Seasons of Discontent 