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Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

Late June through early August has to be the slowest and most boring time of year in sports.  No NBA, NHL or NFL to speak of and two-thirds of the MLB teams are already out of contention for the playoffs.  Which makes the unlikely parallel of top stories featuring U.S. Open champ (F)Lucas Glover (please no more “it fits like a glover” headlines, I beg you) and retiring NFL veteran La’Roi Glover stand apart from the rest.

In any other time of year, I wouldn’t notice the fact that two men with the same last name made headlines on the same day.  Unless of course it was something as earth-shatteringly important as Bryant Gumbel and Greg Gumbel agreeing to star in a live action version of “Gumbel to Gumbel: Beach Justice.”  We can all dream, can’t we?

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For those of you that look to SoD as yr primary source for sports news, we are pleased to report that NFL Commish Roger Goodell has put the kibash on the manslaughterer’s season.  The WWL has a pretty good suite of analyses, for once, that side with Goodell.  The most perceptive note, though, was in a comment on Len Pasquarelli’s piece:

I love how people act as though Goodell is out of line, if any of us were convicted of vehicular manslaughter WE WOULD LOSE OUR JOBS. That’s the facts, I’m an officer in the Army and if I get an DUI at all, regardless if someone is hurt or there is even an accident, my career is over. Bye-bye, do not pass go, do not collect $200. I make approx. 1/100 of Donte’s salary and I can afford a cab….

– comment by ac_lmour

This Sumo does not speak for all SoD contributors, but I am glad that the NFL has translated Stallworth’s guilty plea into a first step toward appropriate professional punishment.

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Soon-to-be-former Cleveland Browns wideout Donte Stallworth was driving drunk (blew a .12 after) in Miami on the morning of March 14, 2009, and ran over a construction worker who was foolishly crossing a busy street at an inappropriate place.  Stallworth, a first-time offender, was apparently driving 50 in a 40 and had time to flash his lights at Mario Reyes before the accident.  As far as this Sumo is concerned, that is the extent of the relevant facts of this case.

Wait, Wait... That's A Pats Uni.  Is This a Mugshot?

Wait, Wait... That's A Pats Uni. Is This a Mugshot?

Today, Stallworth pled guilty to DUI Manslaughter and received a sentence of 30 days in jail, 1000 hours of community service, and 10 years of probation.  The statute apparently provided for a maximum of 15 years in prison.  I have not found the DUI Manslaughter statute, but vehicular homicide in Florida carries the same maximum sentence, meaning both crimes are probably a 2d-degree felony.  (If you believe a prison term is meant to punish a convict for his crime, it might raise an eyebrow that the culpability for voluntary intoxication is not higher than for the recklessness required by the vehicular homicide definition.) (more…)

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First the Phillies.  Then the Steelers.  Now the Penguins.  The Keystone State holds three of the major four sports titles.  You probably already now this by now.  But, what about some of William Penn’s other championship sons and daughters?  Shouldn’t we extend congrats to these proud champions too?

  • Splash Lagoon – Largest Indoor Waterpark on the East Coast;
  • The Boone and Crockett Club – Maintains five of the ten largest black bear skulls on record;
  • Philadelphia Soul – Reigning 2008 AFL champs (Can they repeat this season…er…nevermind);
  • Pretzels and Chips – Highest manufacturing of these products of any state;
  • D.G. Yuengling & Son – America’s oldest brewery.

So spread the love people.  You never know when another black bear skull will turn up or some carpetbagger will build a bigger indoor waterpark or a minor league indoor football league will fold shut down to “retool.”

Smile all you want, as long as you aint bring no prized bear skulls into town.

Smile all you want, as long as you ain't bringin' no prized bear skulls.

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ESPN.com NFC West blogger Mike Sando wrote a nice little piece on Cardinals QB – and greatest person ever – Kurt Warner that explored Warner’s health and general ability to stay healthy. Sando’s primary takeaway was that Warner is not nearly as brittle as some may suggest. In fact, Warner hasn’t missed a start (he missed most of the ’07 Panthers game after being injured on like the 3rd play) due to injury in the last three seasons. Of course, I feel pretty good about all of that because (as anyone that knows me is aware) I’m just about the biggest Kurt Warner homer this side of Jesus Christ. I even predicted his 30 TD season before 2008 began (never mind that I predicted the same thing in 2004, 2005 and 2006). So why the concern from Scott Howard? It appears Warner has old man arms. (more…)

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I'd Say This Picture Could Change Bill Williamson's Mind

I'd Say This Picture Could Change Bill Williamson's Mind

Bill Williamson – ESPN’s 10th ranked writer based on looks (as prepared by reputable political website SoD) – recently offered his argument in ESPN.com’s “Double Coverage” that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman is more essential to his team than Patriots QB (Steamy White Looks?) Tom Brady is to his. No seriously.

Now I realize that it’s June 10th and the NFL writers need something to do – but did they really need to force Merriman v. Brady down our throats? Both players missed most of the 2008 season and that’s about where the comparison should end. Sure the Chargers went from 11-5 in 2007 to 8-8 in 2008 without Merriman and sure Merriman is a 3-time Pro Bowler and 2006 All-Pro – but more valuable than Brady? In case you’ve forgotten let me throw a few stats at you: (more…)

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This scene is equal parts serene and hazardous to quarterbacks

This scene is equal parts serene and hazardous to quarterbacks

It appears that, like that immortalized riverboat worker in Fogerty’s Proud Mary, Tom Brady has left a good job in the city in favor of rolling (his kayak) on the river.  Easy CCR jokes aside, SoD wonders why Brady did not check the List of Potentially Career-Ending Activities before taking his wife on this little boat ride.  He would have clearly seen that, not only is “kayaking” prominently featured, but so are the broader categories of “anything on water” and “anything wherein yr legs are immobilized inside a container.”

Luckily for the NFL and the State of Massachusetts, no one was hurt in this hilarious incident.

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