Some of you may know J.D. Roth, some of you may not. Those that do may know him from his new show “Opportunity Knocks” on ABC. If so, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Others may know him from the single-greatest children’s game show of all-time — a little show called Fun House. What you may not know, however, is that J.D. has stopped aging.
Before I get to the Curious Case of J.D. Roth, I would like to point out the glory, nay the decadent glory, that was Fun House. For the pre-teen ladies, it featured a pumped-up Roth sporting a world-class feathered mullet. For the prepubescent guys, twin cheerleaders Jacki and Sammi. Contestants included a future multi-academy award nominee/serial model-dater.
It also spawned its own workout video featuring a multi-academy award winner. And, a spin-off cast another future academy award nominee as host. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s two Oscars, three nominations, and J.D.
The best part: we didn’t steal it from England, they stole it from us. What did they send back? The Weakest Link and Who Wants to be a Millionaire? I guess that’s our thanks for bailing their asses out of WWII.
But enough of our stroll down memory lane. I must turn to the real issue: J.D. Roth has stopped aging. The question we have to ask my dear traveler is “why?” Here’s your answer. Dick Clark. That’s right, Dick Clark.
J.D. and Dick produced a show together called Mad Libs in the late 90’s. I can only surmise that it was during this time that the original ageless wonder shared with J.D. the secret to ceasing the aging process as well as the now-famous “stroke exception” (that’s right, I went there). For further support of my research please see below. I have put together a picture timeline in the style used by the sports media to show the progessive growth of Barry Bonds’ head. Enjoy.