Vince Young Foods has released three new products: smoked sausage, smoked brisket and smoked ribs. Mull that over for a second. I’ll be here, crying softly, remembering VY’s legacy as the greatest college QB of all time. Back? Good. (No, I wasn’t listening to Enya and playing with a straight razor in the tub, why do you ask?) Anyways, if the meats hold true to their maker, they will be absolutely awesome . . . until you pay for them. After purchase, Vince Young meats will likely have a promising start before a rapid decrease in quality, causing you to have concerns for the meats’ safety. They may be eventually be replaced by older and more cost effective veteran meats. I can only hope his meats come with a hearty dry rub containing plenty of Vince Young Antidepressants™.
Amazingly, VY is not the only former Longhorn great to be hawking his own brand of meats – Earl Campbell has been selling glorious hot links for years now. Earl gets a pass however, because he enjoyed a great NFL career and didn’t start peddling dead animal products until after his playing days ended. VY apparently lacks such good taste and decided his meat must be tasted by the world — now, damn it! I can only wonder if he spent all his time on the bench perfecting his recipes instead of watching Kerry Collins resurrect his career. But no matter how pathetic, sad, or “patheti-sad” this new endeavour is, Vince will always be this guy to me: