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In case you still haven’t figured out what this blog is here to celebrate, I give you the top of the 8th inning in last night’s D’backs v. Marlins game (which the D’backs led 7-0 at the top of the 6th):

Juan Gutierrez pitching for Arizona.  Score: AZ 7 – FL 4.

J Hermida singled to center

J Baker walked, J Hermida to second

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Out in Vegas for the weekend so you won’t have my brilliant additions here at SoD.  I fully plan on attending a couple of NBA Summer League games because who really wants to miss Adam Morrison facing off against Chase Budinger in practice jerseys?  Certainly not this guy.

Matrix is coming to Dallas – I’m a little crushed by this.  While I didn’t exactly expect for Shawn Marion to come back to the Valley, I wasn’t necessarily ready to see him running and gunning with a Western Conference rival who actually cares about winning.  Through a few savvy off-season moves (re-signing J-Kidd, and acquiring both Marcin Gortat and Marion) the Mavs have actually positioned themselves to contend in the West.  Marion appearing on the Gambo & Ash show today and talking about how he felt “bad for the Suns fans” didn’t make me feel a whole lot better. Continue Reading »

The last holdout from signing the BCS/ESPN contract has finally given up hope.  Though, I can’t really blame them for the delay.  Sometimes deals take time to process, especially deals with the Devil.  And, like all deals with the Devil, the soul doesn’t necessarily fetch what you thought it would on the open market.

Instead, the BCS and ESPN just schooled the Mountain West Conference on the fundamental tenets of Vader negotiation 101.  Here’s a quick review of that course, in case you missed it in college (set to the timeless music of Zakk Wylde):

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OnStar For Life

If you listen to the radio at all you have probably heard those OnStar commercials where they play live calls from people using OnStar in an emergency.  But, maybe you haven’t noticed the disturbing escalation of the emergency calls they are choosing.  That’s why they pay me the big bucks.  I notice these things.

The original commercials usually had a recording of some “funny” problem where someone locked their keys or cellphone (or dog) in the car.  It was all laughs and harmless anecdotes.  It made you feel good inside.  Then all of the sudden the people down at OnStar apparently got restless.  Out went the lighthearted commercials and in came the steadily increasing tragedy.

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As you have probably heard, Oscar Mayer is dead at 95.  You may not know that long ago, to protect the innocent, he decided to use a pseudonym for his products — Oscar Meyer.  Not the most creative guy when it comes to pseudonyms but I digress.

Excuse me, arent you Oscar Meyer?  No.  Im Oscar MAYER.  Its a common mistake.  I am actually quite poor and unsuccessful and an unworthy target of your robbery attempt.

"Excuse me, aren't you Oscar Meyer?" For heaven's sake, no. I'm Oscar MAYER. It's a common mistake. I am actually quite poor and unsuccessful, and an unworthy target of your robbery attempt.

Outside of the Mayer/Meyer thing, I have found that the recent report of his death generally evokes one of three reactions:

(1) Oscar Meyer is a real guy?

(2) Oscar Meyer was still alive?

(3) I can’t believe God waited this long to finally found out what they put in bologna.

For the record, I felt all three.  So here’s to you Oscar.  May you ascend to heaven in a hot dog chariot with bologna wings.

The Season Still Isn't Watchable

The season still isn't watchable. Even though it features a guy with two differently colored eyes.

If you haven’t notice lately – and you likely haven’t if the attendance figures are any indication – the Diamondbacks have put together their longest winning streak of the season (5 straight) and moved out of last place in the NL West.  Take THAT Padres!

The D-Backs are actually now undefeated since Mark Reynolds unleashed last Friday’s rant about how it seems that his teammates have packed it in for the season.  Perhaps this will represent a step in the right direction for the D-Backs and they’ll grow and change from it – but don’t get any illusions of a playoff run.  In what is a clear indicator of how brutal the season has been to this point – the D-Backs are still a staggering 17.5 games back of the first place Dodgers, and 10.5 games back of the wild-card leading Giants.  I’d say this is as good a chance as any to point out that Cardinals training camp opens in 25 days.

We realize it’s been a slow time for SoD but what else are we supposed to write about?  I can only drill down into the Suns complete lack of a gameplan so much and you really don’t want us to start unleashing Steve McNair jokes yet.  Hang in there lovers.

The D’backs have traded reliever Tony Pena to the White Sox for Carlos Quentin a AA/AAA first baseman named Brandon Allen.

Josh, I am available if you would like to shore up the first base position with another aging vet.

Josh, I am available if you would like to shore up the first base position with another aging vet.

This is presumably to fill the D’backs glaring need at the first base position.  Right now they only have Tony Clark, Mark Reynolds, Josh Whitesell (up and down between AAA and majors), Chad Tracy, and bubonic plague victim Conor Jackson.  What’s wrong Greg Colbrunn wasn’t available?

At least with Pena gone the D’backs’ 8th inning ERA will probably go from approximately 17.10 to 10.10.  So they got that going for them.  A little addition by subtraction.  That is what it has come to in this town.