(Editors note: Soccer post)
The United States is not particularly good at soccer. Over the years we’ve dabbled with mediocre – making it out of pool play in the ’94 World Cup, cracking the quarterfinals in the ’02 World Cup, and winning something called the Gold Cup in 2002, 2005, and 2007. Hell for a brief period in April 2006 the US reached FOURTH in the FIFA rankings before falling all over themselves in the ’06 World Cup. But for the most part USA soccer has just well – existed.
This week – in the Confederation Cup (an event in which I can only assume the winner recieves the “Jefferson Davis Memorial Trophy”) – the United States side has tackled international powerhouses Italy and Brazil. The short-handed U.S. actually hung with Italy and owned a 1-0 lead in the 2nd half before the Sons of Super Mario stormed back with 3 goals to close out a win. Earlier this afternoon the Americans met Brazil and the result was pretty much as expected – Brazil won 3-0. However my favorite news item from the game came from U.S goalkeeper Tim Howard who had this to say following the game:
“They’re always going to be the better team, right?” U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard said. “It’s just for us about going out and trying to give a good showing of ourselves because the best team doesn’t always win. Today it did. We were overpowered, and sometimes you just come up against Goliath and David doesn’t win.”
Incredibly inspiring Tim. There you have it folks – U.S. Soccer will never get good or become elite so you can just stop watching now. This quote led me to wonder what kind of help Howard could have provided at some cruical moments in history had his services been required:
- 2004 – Boston, Massachusetts – down 3 games to none in the ALCS the Boston Red Sox opt to not play Game 4 on the advice of closer Tim Howard. Yankees go on to win World Series and Boston extends its championship drought well into the next decade.
- 1985 – Moscow, Russia – Rocky Balboa opts not to come out of his corner for Round 4 of his heavyweight title bout with Ivan Drago after trainer Tim Howard decides to throw in the towel. Howard cites repeated beatings Balboa recieved within the first 3 rounds as reasons for his actions. Drago goes on to win fight, I’s doesn’t change – nor does you’s, and the Soviet Union continues to exist as a world superpower.
- 1776 – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – In an act of defiance Tim Howard, Delaware representative to the Continental Congress, burns so-called “Declaration of Independence” due to what he calls the overwhelming talent of the Red Coats. Continental Army General George Washington is burned at the stake and America continues as a British colony.
Tim Howard – a model for children everywhere. Chase your dreams kids (but only if they’re reasonably attainable).