Capitializing on the misfortune of others is mandatory here at SoD. It’s written in the bylaws. Thus, SoD has decided to exploit the recent scandals misunderstandings at Memphis and USC with our latest product: The Coaches’ Kit™. This newly-developed product is a must have for any NCAA coach on the go. It has all the essentials any good coach needs when he is hot on the recruiting trail, including:
- Small-denomination, non-sequential, unmarked bills for those stubborn recruits
- Access to an exclusive coaches-only, searchable database for term papers and entrance exams in case your point guard can’t read
- City-by-City breakdown of reliable call girls escorts (for you or your recruit)
- Platinum membership with numerous Cadillac dealers for access to “loaner” Escalades. Hey, a kid’s got to get to class on time, right?
- GPS turn-by-turn navigation device. Don’t want any wrong turns in the wrong neighborhood turning into Judgment Night.
- 24 hr hotline to “Friends of the Program.” Think of it as On-Star but for cheating recruiting advice.
- And many more features…..
Order now and we’ll throw in this fashionable tote bag. All the coaches are using them!