Part of every Suns fan wants to believe that Shaq can become a P&R defensive machine. On the one hand, we are ready to believe anything after this year’s All-Star reinvention, and there is also that element of being the Mount Elbert of the NBA’s Rockies. On the other hand, no amount of braggadocio and web-application-savvy can distract from another year of compression on those old knees. If Shaq wants to get faster, he needs to lose 30 pounds AND invent the flux capacitor. In the meantime, as soon as Amare has two functional eyes, the Suns need to strap them open a la Clockwork Orange and sit him in front of KG game tape until August.
UPDATE: Apparently it was foolish to assume Shaq had skipped his mid-life crisis. We have just received word that, true to his Epic Form, Shaq has traded in his Sportchassis mini-semi truck for the one-and-only Optimus Prime.