U.S. Soccer Gags on Lead and Crushes Scott Howard’s Will to Live

The United States Soccer team choked away a 2-0 first half lead to lose to Brazil in the Confederations Cup Final. Brazil scored 3 unanswered second half goals and should have had four but for the ref missing the ball crossing the goal line. While the U.S. team should be applauded for making its first ever [...]

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It’s Like You be Talking Funny Mack Brown Don’t Understand People with Short Money

According to the information generated from the Equity in Athletics Disclosure Act forms, in 2008  Texas generated the most revenue of any athletic program ($120.3 million), the most revenue of any football program ($72.9 million) and the most profitable football program ($52 million).  While Texas narrowly edged Ohio State in overall revenue and football revenue it dominated the [...]

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Tony Parker’s Former Security Guard Helps Secure Tony’s Belongings on Craigslist

A former security guard assigned to provide security services to Tony Parker’s home has been arrested after stealing from Mr. Longoria.  The security guard, who was already wanted for a previous burglary, helped himself to a signed Michael Jordan jersey and attempted to sell the jersey, worth over $20,000.00, for $500.00 on Craigslist. Unfortunately, this budding investment banker [...]

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Woodward and Bernstein Wish They Broke This Story

The Arizona Republic has done what no other publication, talk show host, or D’backs employee could do:  they have gotten to the root cause of the D’backs’ bullpen struggles.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bullpen phone.

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Bill Williamson: Shawne Merriman is More Essential Than Tom Brady

Bill Williamson – ESPN’s 10th ranked writer based on looks (as prepared by reputable political website SoD) – recently offered his argument in ESPN.com’s “Double Coverage” that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman is more essential to his team than Patriots QB (Steamy White Looks?) Tom Brady is to his. No seriously. Now I realize that it’s [...]

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Mullet Enthusiast Randy Johnson Wins 300th Game

After 21 years in the major leagues Randy Johnson earned his 300th win, beating the pathetic Nationals 5-1. Johnson celebrated by hugging his son, his teammates and his manager, knifing a drifter (would it shock you if this was true? Really?) and buying a new industrial sized jar a Vaseline to rub into his glorious Kentucky Waterfall. The Expos [...]

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Ichiro Extends Hit Streak . . . Mariners Fans Postpone Suicides

Do not despair Seattle fans: Ichiro is here. Ichiro Suzuki has extended his hit streak to 26 games, a career best and Mariners’ record.  The Mariners are only four games below .500.  And, while this may not seem all that impressive in the abstract, when viewed in context this is a smashing success.  In the [...]

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Happy Anniversary Oklahoma City Thunder!

In lieu of the Nightcap I’d like to pay tribute to a very special team celebrating a very special anniversary – that team is the Oklahoma City Thunder. 30 years ago today (June 1st), the Thunder (I believe then known as the Seattle Supersonics or something like that) won their first and only NBA Championship [...]

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ESPN NFL Writer Power Rankings Based on Looks: May 2009 Edition

As you may be aware, ESPN recently released their NFL Power Rankings for the month of May. We here at SoD thought it was about time we added our two cents. However we all quickly realized that regurgitating rankings on the teams would be pretty boring (particularly in May) so we reverted to what makes [...]

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Rod Graves, Harbinger of Agents’ Demise!

Various sources are reporting that big cry baby disgruntled Cardinals WR Anquan Boldin has fired super-agent Drew Rosenhaus. Rosenhaus released a statement essentially confirming his termination via Twitter, as super-agents are wont to do.  Just last month Karlos Dansby also fired his long term agent, Kirk Wood; however, unlike Boldin, Dansby has a very good [...]

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